deep conversation and a really great boss...

i just finished having a really great conversation with my boss... unconventional (funny, since i work at the northwest baptist convention...), but great... we started talking about one thing and that quickly moved on to another and then another - several topics later, i just felt better...

i have been frustrated with work this week... i'm still a little frustrated to be honest... i was ready for a day off tomorrow and i'm not going to get to take it... there is too much to be done and my schedule won't allow it... if the paper had not been going out this past monday, i could have taken it off - regardless of my busy schedule... that is frustrating...

i walked into my office this morning to hear two of my co-workers talking about me... actually, only one was talking... rather than defending me or confronting him, the other one began to compare me to my "predecessor..." it wasn't a passing conversation - they were sitting together talking... i felt very hurt... i wanted to scream over the top of my cubicle, "I'M NOT JENNIFER!!" (my predecessor's name - although she's not really a predecessor - she was just on maternity leave and now she's back, part-time, working from home) the truth of the matter is - i'm never going to be jennifer... she's pleasant and sweet and seemingly perfect... i'm not really all that pleasant or sweet - i'm pretty blunt, cyncial - i'm not the norm around here... i'm not a sweet little southern baptist lady who never says the wrong thing...

the thing that gets me is - i know jennifer made mistakes... i'm sure that she has - there's no way that she didn't... and it seems that everyone has forgotten any mistake she ever made...

enough whining - on with the point... my boss came into my office, and i began to joke with him about a piece we're printing - one of the ladies in the office is retiring in april - they have mailed out 1,700 invitations twice - and today she came in and asked me if i'd design another mail out for her retirement celebration... which i'm guessing will go to the same 1,700 people... i'm guessing there will be (at most) 100 people there... it seems a little out of control/over the top... cameron thought so, too... we had a good laugh about the whole thing... and then we began discussing what would happen when this lady left - would someone take her position, who would it be... stuff like that...

which quickly turned into a denominational discussion... cameron thinks a lot like me - and that makes me happy - i'm not alone... i know there are others in the building who think like us - i just haven't figured out exactly who they are yet (fully)...

in the midst of our discussion, i found out (kind of realized) why i got hired... yes, sure, they needed a graphic designer... yes, God wanted this for me... yes, i have a degree in advertising and am a creative person... all those things... but the real reason cameron chose me is...
because of me...
because i'm different...
because i come in 5 minutes late almost every day...
i drink coffee (with extra shots of espresso) all the time...
because i'm not afraid to speak my mind...
because i practice cynicism...
i laugh at things that are funny (even when we're not supposed to laugh at them)...
i don't wear skirts - even on days when we're supposed to "dress up..."
i won't be satisfied with things because "that's the way we've always done them..."
because i'm not afraid to ask questions...
because i think about things like, "i wonder what they would say if i got a nose ring?"
because i want things to be different...
because i'm willing to stick it out... even when i have bad weeks...

he cares... and his door is open... at the end of a really crappy day, i know i can trust my boss with it (i almost "went there" with cheesiness - i can trust the "BIGGER BOSS," with it, too... whoa... i may be southern baptist after all!) and there are others in this building who care, too... who aren't afraid and who are (at least a little) like me... i'm not alone in this game, even when i feel that i am...